Many a gay man has that special drawer or toy box where he keeps his sexual paraphernalia. Of course, the most common items found are condoms and lube. But what other gadgets are guys using in the playroom? Let's take an inventory of the most frequently found gay sexcessories:
The cock ring
The cock ring is a ring, strap or string placed tightly around the base of the penis or the balls to restrict blood flow. It's intended to help keep the penis hard and engorged, although some guys just like the look or feel of wearing one. The ring can be placed around the penis and balls, just the penis, or just the testicles.
- The single-strap cock ring is a flat leather strap with several snaps or Velcro. It's adjustable and easy to snap off. Some men shave at the base to avoid the strap getting tangled and pulling the pubic hair.
- Non-adjustable rings are made of aluminum or stretch rubber and come in various gauges and sizes. The penis needs to be flaccid to put this style of cock ring on or to take it off.
- Careful with metal cock rings -- the cocksucker can bust his lip on it!
- Wearing one too tight for an extended period of time may cause damage to the blood vessels at the base of the penis.
- Not recommended for men with diabetes or nerve disease.
- With the advent of erection drugs like Viagra, cock rings have become less popular.
The dildo
A dildo is a penis-shaped object commonly used for anal stimulation and penetration. They are often made of vinyl or rubber, but there are all sorts of dildos out there; different colors and skin tones; celebrity models; and different textures, from vein-covered to smooth.
- Beginners should try a smaller size first.
- Use plenty of lube.
- Using condoms on dildos makes it much easier to keep them clean. For safer-sex reasons, dildos should not be shared.
- Most guys tend to use their hands to hold and maneuver the dildo, rather than a harness.
- When used solo, a dildo with a handle or a suction cup can be useful.
The butt plug
An anal plug, or "butt plug," is similar to a dildo, but differs in that it is typically shorter and designed to stay in the ass for a while. They are usually shaped like a triangle plug with a wide base to prevent them from slipping up or shooting out.
- Butt plugs are useful for training the sphincter muscles to relax and can often be used to warm up the ass for deeper penetration.
- Some are designed to specifically stimulate the prostate.
- One interesting variation is the butt plug with long hair attached to the base for use in human pony play or other animal-fantasy role-play. (Now that's another whole article!)
Nipple clamps
A nipple clamp is a clamp used to stimulate the nipples by applying varying degrees of pressure. The main purpose is to provide constant, intense nipple stimulation. They are often used in certain BDSM activities.
- Any device that can be used to apply direct pressure can be used as a nipple clamp, such as a regular clothespin or an alligator clip.
- Sometimes weights may be hung from the clamps to increase the force on the nipples. This also discourages the clamped person from moving suddenly (for example, while being spanked).
- Tweezer clamps consist of two short lengths of metal and have a small ring used to adjust the tension.
- The clover or "butterfly" clamp has the ability to provide increasing tension if pulled on. If a cord is tied from the clamp to a fixed place, the wearer of the clamps cannot move away because the clamps will tighten as they try to move.
- Use of nipple clamps also helps to enlarge the nipples and with regular use the nipples will become more protruding and often will increase in sensitivity. Use of nipple clamps is one way to increase the mind-nipple connection.
Handcuffs
After nipple clamps, the most basic BDSM toys that gay guys tend to use are handcuffs. A handcuff is a type of restraint, typically used to immobilize the wrists together. Handcuffs are a type of bondage toy whose effect tends to be psychological as well as physical. One guy has gained more control or power, and the other has surrendered some -- creating dominant-submissive roles.
- Handcuffs come in all sorts of style and size; metal ones may have fur or velour for a soft restraint
- Often used to restrict the arms to the bedposts or above the head, or wrists bound together behind the back or in the front
- Rope, cloth, and leather are also often used to tie up the wrists. SportCuffs lined with neoprene have a quick-release Velcro closure and protective padding around the wrist
- Silk ties can be difficult to remove quickly, especially if moist. Keep a pair of scissors handy.
- Make sure the activity is consensual and that there is trust in the dynamic.
- Bones and ligaments in the joints are delicate -- so be careful not to use weight or tight strictures
- Make sure not to cut off the circulation; always check the hand to see if circulation is in the fingers
